It's not about discipline

I ran into a friend at the pool last night. She was leaving the family swim while I arrived for lane swim. She commented on how disciplined I am with my training.

I get comments like this fairly often. I live in a town, so it's not uncommon for me to run into friends while out for a run, at the pool or on those occasions where I think I can quickly pop into the grocery store while all sweaty after a run. (Hint: if you live in a small town, you'll always run into someone you know if you go to the grocery store without showering.) I also am very public about the existence of my blog, so most people that know me know that I am pretty "dedicated".

Here's the thing though: It has nothing to do with discipline. It's not about dedication or determination. It's about making a simple decision and following through with it.

It's easy for me. I had one of those "aha moments". I reached a point where my obesity and sedentary lifestyle were seriously affecting the quality of my life. So returning to a sedentary lifestyle simply isn't an option. I am a different person then I was a year and a half ago. I am a better person. I like myself more; I am happier; I am healthier.

It's about losing the "if" mentality and adopting the "when" mentality. I'm not going to claim I'm perfect. In fact, just today, I wimped out on my run because I didn't feel like dealing with the temperature and the "freezing drizzle". When I make decisions like this, I always consider the "when". If I can't workout right now, when will I? If I'm skipping a run, when will I make it up? If I feel like death for a week because I'm sick (which was the case recently), when am I going to be able to get back at it?

It's like brushing your teeth. Nobody needs to tell you that it's a good idea. If something gets in the way of your routine and you don't brush them at your usual time, it's not a question of "if" you'll brush them later. It's "when" you'll get to. You know that you are going to do it again and get back to it.

That is where my mindset comes from when it comes to my workout and training. It is one of those things that needs to be a part of my life. I do it because I need to, because I want to, and because it's part of who I am.

Free cookies

This weekend I did a craft fair. Yes, on the side I sell ridiculously cute hair accessories for little girls. In the past, I've been weak at craft fairs. There's always somebody there selling baked goods. I usually neglect to bring sufficient food, and when it gets slow, I get bored, and the baked goods get really tempting.

This time, I successfully steeled my will against the baked goods and they weren't even that tempting. I kind of looked at them and went: "meh, not that great looking." I brought sufficient (healthy) food that I couldn't use hunger as a legitimate excuse.

What was tempting was the table of free refreshments (aka cookies). Why is it, that when something is free, we get this urge to take advantage? I mean, if I want or need a cookie, I have the financial ability to buy myself a box of them. There was nothing special about these cookies. I have no doubt I could find them in a box at the grocery store. Yet, for some reason, when it's free, my mind goes "better get it before it's gone".

For what it's worth, I also resisted the free cookies. Yet, I find it a very interesting gut reaction that I had. It's not like there's any shortage of cookies in the world - particularly mediocre store bought cookies. Why does my mind instinctually feel I must have it because it's offered free?

The mental vs physical game

photo source

When it comes to fitness, it's largely physical. However, you can't underestimate the role that your mind plays in achieving new goals and reaching new heights. The moment you tell yourself that you can't do something, it becomes probable that you'll be right. On the other hand, if you decide that you can, it's amazing how many physical barriers you can break down.

I find swimming hard. Truly. I think it's really tough. I can power through a bike, run or hike, but swimming wipes me out. Particularly the front crawl, which is what I am really trying to master. You can't just stop swimming midway either. That would be called drowning, and last I heard, it isn't the best exercise.

The mental game in swimming is huge for me. I'm over my panic about the deep end of the pool, so that's good. Having said that, I still find breathing a challenge. I'm probably still one of the world's most inefficient swimmers, so I work very hard to go at what seems like a slow pace.

Then there's breathing, and this is where the mental game kicks in. When my heart rate gets up, I start feeling like I need to breath more, so when my face is in the water, I start feeling panic. For the last few swims, I've been struggling to do a full lap of the pool while doing front crawl. On my Sunday swim, I would get to one end of the pool then about halfway back. I'd feel like I needed more air, so brought my head up too soon, then I'd struggle with my stroke, and I just felt like I couldn't finish. I'd do backstroke for the rest of the way.

The thing is, I am working hard while doing front crawl, but not that hard. The initial feeling of exhaustion is not much different then the inclination I sometimes get after about a minute of running. That feeling of wanting to stop. I can push through that feeling and run for a full 5 minutes now. The problem is, I was letting this feeling take over and convincing myself that I needed to stop. After all, I'm in the water. It's not like being on land where the worst case scenario is that I have to sit down. Sit down in the pool and it isn't so good...

In reality, I was doing fine breathing every third stroke. Working hard, but not truly suffering. I could push through it. I just needed to believe that I could.

Last night I had another swim. The pool was wonderfully non-busy, so I had a lane to myself. So, I swam. I alternated between laps of backstroke and laps of front crawl. Every time, I started getting close to a full lap, I had to stop. Usually right under the basket ball net, which was about 3/4 of the way back. I started just stopping and standing up for a few seconds (an advantage of having the lap to myself) and then continuing on. But, I wasn't really out of breath when I took those tiny breaks.

Finally, as my pool time was coming to an end, I decided to do one more lap of front crawl. I concentrated on not going too fast. I have a tendency to speed my strokes up so I can breath more. I concentrated on the rhythm of my strokes. 1, 2, breath on 3... I touched the wall and pushed off in the other direction. I kept swimming. I started to feel like I needed to stop. I felt like I needed to come up for air. I looked up on one of my breaths and, sure enough, saw the basketball net there. I put my face back in the water. I kept swimming.

I won't say that the rest felt effortless. It was a struggle all the way to the wall. But the struggle wasn't with my arms or my legs. Not even with my lungs or my heart. The struggle was with my mind. I didn't have to convince my arms to keep going. I had to convince my mind to let me.

When I reached the wall, I had a moment of pure euphoria. Another barrier down. Another goal achieved.

The mind is a powerful tool. It can make or break you. What will you let your mind do?