When it comes to "triathlon Deb", I've been kind of floundering since completing my half ironman at the end of July. At first that was necessary; I needed the break. Then it was okay. I was on vacation, after all, and part of the reason I did my big race earlier was so that I could enjoy the rest of the summer without heavy training.
Now, it's almost 3 weeks into September, and I'm still unfocused. I'm running, but mostly short runs of 6 km and under. (Although I am doing a 10km race on Saturday!) I'm not swimming as the local pool is still closed until next week. I haven't been biking either.
So, it's time to start asking some serious questions of myself.
What do I want?
I want more.
Long term, sure, I want to do an Ironman, but I want more now.
I want to reach my potential.
And, so far, I'm a long ways off. Sure, on race day, I go in with everything I've got. But, I can do more.
The monkey on my back is the extra weight I continue to carry. I feel like I'll never get close to my potential until I let it go. And, I think that is part of the reason I have been afraid to let it go. Because getting close to my potential scares me - a lot.
I have always been in a position of knowing that I can do better. I have always finished a race, and even when I was thrilled with my results, I knew I would beat it one day. If I really do everything I'm capable of, one day I am going to achieve results that will never be bettered.
And you know what? I'm ready to start on that path. One step at a time. It will take me years to reach that, but I'm going to start with the definitely achievable steps: Lose the weight, keep up the speed work throughout my training plan (I always seem to get thrown off of it, and finish out the training plan just getting the volume in).
I have signed up for the Calgary 70.3 again. I'm going to set a personal best on that course. In fact, I am going to blow away my time from 2012.