Early this morning, I was getting ready for my run. The alarm was supposed to go off at 5:00 am, but I woke up before it, so I was getting ready at about 4:45.
As I strapped on my garmin, I was struck with the thought that I didn't know if I'd be able to complete this run. This 6 km (3.7 mi) run. Like, I wouldn't have the stamina or something.
It's ridiculous. If you've been reading this blog, you know that I completed a half marathon a few weeks ago. I've regularly been running at least that distance, multiple times a week, since September. Yet for some reason, I still regularly wonder if I can do it.
It's like I think I wake up again in my old obese body. The one that huffed and puffed when I walked up a steep hill. Sometimes, I don't really believe I can run until I'm a few minutes into it. Then I hit my rhythm and start feeling good, and start feeling confident.
I'm not sure what's up with this. Maybe it's some buried self esteem issues that I still need to deal with. Maybe it's normal? Maybe it's just a sign that I just need to keep running regularly.
For the record, I headed out the door and did the run. If anything, running has gotten easier then it used to be, meaning that I had no trouble finishing the 6 km. It may also mean that I should start pushing a bit harder.
Test Your Limits, Baby!!!
ReplyDeleteI totally have runs like that. Gotta keep going until you hit that rhythm!
I think that was just your body saying "Deb, go back to bed! It's 4:45am and this is ridiculous!"
ReplyDeleteI generally don't have doubt before the run, but while I am doing it I think how on earth have I done x number of half marathons when this 6K is kicking my butt??
Distance isn't as big of an issue for me (up to 22K!) but time is.
Good job on your early morning run!!
I still doubt myself on a regular basis. Not so much training stuff, but in events I sign up for. I've got several I'm quite scared of this season.
ReplyDeleteI am however often amazed at how much easier things are then I think they will be.
Julie and I tend to think alike too...Test your limits!
I always feel a huge sense of accomplishment after I do the stuff that was so doubtful just a short time before. Whenever I have doubts I try to channel that feeling and just get it done.
ReplyDeleteI have felt that way ALL week and I just ran 26.2mi last weekend! Honestly, I have serious doubts about my fitness abilities the first few miles of most runs. Once I get past mile 2 or 3 I'm usually good to go.
ReplyDelete"It's like I think I woke up again in my old obese body". Oh, I hear you on that. Weird when that happens, eh? I don't know if it's self-esteem or just a lag in adjusting to the new body? I read somewhere a theory that for every 25 pounds of weight lost, it takes our brains a full year to catch up to the change in size, shape and ability - to stop the habits we used to have when we were larger, such as doubting our fitness levels, avoiding mirrors & cameras and so on.
ReplyDeleteLook how far your body has taken you. It knows you're strong even if your brain sometimes forgets!