Early this morning, I was getting ready for my run. The alarm was supposed to go off at 5:00 am, but I woke up before it, so I was getting ready at about 4:45.
As I strapped on my garmin, I was struck with the thought that I didn't know if I'd be able to complete this run. This 6 km (3.7 mi) run. Like, I wouldn't have the stamina or something.
It's ridiculous. If you've been reading this blog, you know that I completed a half marathon a few weeks ago. I've regularly been running at least that distance, multiple times a week, since September. Yet for some reason, I still regularly wonder if I can do it.
It's like I think I wake up again in my old obese body. The one that huffed and puffed when I walked up a steep hill. Sometimes, I don't really believe I can run until I'm a few minutes into it. Then I hit my rhythm and start feeling good, and start feeling confident.
I'm not sure what's up with this. Maybe it's some buried self esteem issues that I still need to deal with. Maybe it's normal? Maybe it's just a sign that I just need to keep running regularly.
For the record, I headed out the door and did the run. If anything, running has gotten easier then it used to be, meaning that I had no trouble finishing the 6 km. It may also mean that I should start pushing a bit harder.