My blogging has been horrible lately, my apologies!
I'm nearing the end of this training cycle, and it hasn't lacked challenges. I've been sick multiple times. Repeated problems with my bike...
The biggest challenge has been in my head though. At times, this whole thing has seemed incredibly overwhelming, and after being thrown out of the game by uncontrollable elements, I found it really hard to get back into the right head space. A few times I've teetered on the edge of what I consider my shut down mode. It's the place I go when I feel like I just can't deal. Where I give up and stop trying. It lets me avoid failure. And success.
The good news is, I've teetered, but not jumped, nor fallen. I'm in this game. As my training volume is reaching a peak, my body and my mind are meeting the challenge. This past week has been hot, and it's increased my confidence in my ability to run and bike in those conditions, which may or may not be present on race day.
My nutrition on the bike has improved. In training, I'm now getting in enough, without weighing myself down or giving myself issues on the run. When race day comes, I just need to remind myself to keep eating. I tend to forget in races, and the half distance will be far less forgiving of that lapse then my previous races.
My run is feeling solid. It is one of the first times I haven't overdone the run distance going into a race. My final long run will be 20km (12.4mi). In contrast, my final long run before my Olympic triathlon last year was only a couple km shorter. It's a lesson in trusting my training.
My swim is feeling a bit clunky. I feel like I'm swimming really slow. I also need to get back into the open water, which I haven't been in since my Oly race in June.
I've got the kids enrolled in half day daycamps the first three weeks of July and it's been great. I can get my training in without feeling guilty about taking away family time. The kids love the daycamps, so that's good too. Perhaps it's a bit of a taste of the year my daughter will go to kindergarten and I will train for a full Ironman.
So mentally, I'm now almost there. I'm still afraid. There's things I wish I had done, like lose another 20 pounds, or been more diligent in core work. There's no changing my physical state at this point in the game though. Now, what I need to do is get through my final long bike and run, and get my head where it needs to be.
Because in just over 2 weeks, I'll be crossing the finish line of my first half ironman.