Being ready

One of the things that I can't stress enough is the importance of being ready when you start your journey to better health.

A month and a half ago, I had been trying to lose weight had been spinning my wheels for a long time. I decided I needed a break. I stopped tracking my food. I virtually stopped exercising. I went crazy with food. I was probably eating an entire days worth of calories before noon. I gained another 10 pounds.

Through this process though, I learned some important lessons.

I wasn't even enjoying my food. I don't want to be shoving cookies and cakes into my mouth like they mean nothing. When I am eating well, a small piece of chocolate is delicious and wonderful indulgence. Any kind of treat had lost it's meaning and I didn't even taste it.

The extra 10 pounds has made it even more obvious the strain I've been putting on my body. I've had a noticeable decline in energy. I've found it harder to get up and hard to do things. My already limited wardrobe became even more limited when I found out I couldn't do up one of my 3 pairs of pants. If 10 pounds was having that much of an effect, had I just stopped noticing the effect of the other 50?

Stopping exercise contributed even more to my lack of energy. Sometimes I don't feel like starting a workout, but there's no denying that I always feel good after. In fact I don't think I have ever regretted it. I certainly can't say that about eating a pastry.

This wasn't who I wanted to be.

So I made a decision. I made a decision to change. I decided that after the holidays I was going to do this and I was going to finish it.

Now, in most situations, I think once you make one of these decisions, it's best to follow through immediately. But, this ended up working for me. I continued with my bad habits, and all the time started to question why? I got impatient to begin and started looking forward to the day when I was going to put the overeating, lethargic Deb behind me.

And I've done it. I have a long way to go physically, but now I've won the mental part of the game. I am ready. I am more ready then I have ever been in my life. I'm not doing this to fit into a smaller dress or wear a bikini. I'm not doing it for my husband, friends, or even my children. I am doing this for me. I am doing it because it's what I want and what I need.

I choose not to use words like trying, attempting, failing. Rather, I am doing, succeeding, and winning.