I've received some messages this week from others that are losing weight themselves, and an overall theme has been "I could never do what you are doing". Mostly, in reference to my intention to post my actual numbers. It did make me pause and think. It made me consider whether it was really in my best interest to follow through on this intention.
I decided it was.
I stand by what I said in a previous post. I am taking away the power those numbers have over me. This is the last time I will see that number on the scale. It's all downhill from here.
So, yesterday evening, I went for my first official weight watchers weigh in and got my starting weight. So, without further ado:
I am 5'11 and currently weigh 243.8 pounds.
I won't lie. I knew what to expect, but it was a couple pounds higher then I thought and it hurt to see that number on the scale. It isn't quite my highest non-pregnant weight, but it comes close. So, it looks like I'm increasing the number I mentioned earlier this week as the number of pounds I needed to lose. It'll actually be between 65 - 85.
I had a momentary feeling of hopelessness, depression. That moment where I wondered why I let myself go so far. And, I decided it doesn't matter. What matters is what I do now. What matters is how I go forward. I know so much more about myself now. Not a moment has been wasted.