Who I am

I am Deb, and this blog will follow me as I shrink from my current size 20 pants into something more like a 10 or 12. More importantly, it will follow me as I learn new things about myself, hike in the mountains and become more able to chase my children.

I've been battling my weight since childhood, but the bigger thing I've had to battle is my perception of myself. I am now realizing that my perception of myself is the more important aspect. I've lost the weight before, but without changing my outlook, the weight came back.

This time, I've already changed my outlook. I haven't dropped a pound yet, but I'm ready to. I'm ready to become healthy. It isn't about becoming thin; it's about living. Don't get me wrong, I can't wait to fit into the pants I wore 10 years ago. (and then I'll probably toss them since they're surely out of style).

More then that though, I want to rid myself of the physical limitations that have plagued me for the last few years. You can get away with carrying extra pounds in your early twenties, but I'm finding that those extra pounds in my early thirties are making me feel like I'm fifty. In the last few years, I've had a host of issues directly or indirectly related to my weight. Hip bursitis, plantar fasciatis, pinched nerves, gallstones, difficult pregnancies. (Well the pregnancy part obviously wasn't due to weight, but the difficult part may have been.)

I'm realistic. I know that I may still have health challenges. But, I also know that losing 60 - 80 pounds will make it easier to deal with whatever arises. I am not "trying" to lose weight. I am going to lose weight.

Did you hear that? 60 - 80 pounds. I'm putting the number right out there. Heck, I'm even going to put my weight out there later this week. Because it's far to easy to let those numbers control you. I'm taking away the power that those numbers have and treating them like what they actually are. Numbers. Just numbers. They aren't me, and they don't define me.

Why the large range? I'm just not sure where my body should be now. 60 pounds will bring me to the top of the recommended weight range for my height, whereas 70 pounds will bring me to a point I was at before and felt pretty good. Granted, I've had 3 pregnancies and 2 children since then, so I don't truly know if my body will ever be what it was before.

And you know what, I don't want it to be or need it to be. What it was before was me then. I want it to be me now. I want it to stop limiting me and start enabling me.

So, if you're still reading, I invite you to follow me. Follow me as I muse about the reasons I gained and the things that help me lose. I'll post recipes and food plans, my opinions and thoughts. This isn't a short journey I'm on. The weight loss will likely take me 8-12 months, but even then it won't be over. Because this time, it's staying off and I'm not giving in or giving up.