This journey is teaching me a lot about myself. One thing I have learned is that there are certain things I am just not able to be moderate with.
As in: SUGAR
This weekend, I went for a fabulous weekend. I went away with the ladies from my babysitting co-op. I got a break from the usual daily grind, got to spend time outdoors in the mountains, had new experiences with a high ropes course and a giant swing (very cool). I got to know some of the ladies that I didn't know that well and connected further with some I already considered friends.
And I ate.
I joked Friday night that I was going to blog about all the saboteurs at the retreat. I'm not. Nobody pushed me to eat junk and a lot of it. There was one real saboteur. Me. I was the one that decided it would be okay to dip into the chocolate and the pastries, the girl guide cookies and the chips. No need to pass up the second helping at dinner. Sure, why not have that buttertart bar in the evening...
The thing is, some people indulge over a weekend and get back on track for Monday. Some people go a bit overboard on occasion and are fine.
I am not some people.
It's not the weekend itself that is a problem, but the fact that it opens a door that I need to keep closed. When I start indulging in those sugary treats, I'm like an addict. Seriously. It sounds crazy, but I start obsessing. I start wondering when I can get my next fix. Planning when I'll be able to stop by a donut shop or a bakery.
It's now Tuesday and I'm still struggling. Yesterday, I picked up some chocolate cookie things while at the grocery store. Last night, I decided to eat clean for the rest of the week, and then this morning, I dipped into the granola bars, one of the few snacky things in my house.
Heard the phrase: "you can start fresh tomorrow"?
What a load of crap.
If you're going to make the decision to start fresh, start now. This minute. Not tomorrow.
I should have blogged yesterday. It helps me organize my thoughts, and I know there's enough of you out there willing to give me a kick in the @ss.
So, detox time. For me, the sugar overload is a problem. I've learned that the way to get rid of it is to cut it all out. All of it. No sugar or refined flour. I don't believe in cutting out carbs. I still eat fruit, and whole grains such as quinoa or brown rice. Ultimately, this is what I consider ideal as an overall eating plan anyways. Normally, I allow a little bit of relaxation, but right now, it's time to break the cycle and go all the way.
I wish I could go to a weekend like this and practice moderation. For me, that's not the way it works. I have no regrets about going, but next time, I'm going to say no to the junk food from the start and get my enjoyment from the crazy card games, good company and beautiful space.
I know how you feel. The sugar and pastries. I thought you did pretty good this weekend though. I ate two pastries and two buttertart squares in one evening this weekend too but I didn't get into all the cookies or too much chocolate. But you are right...it's hard to get back on track and better to just stay away from the stuff that is so bad for us. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteCaroline
You're sweet Caroline, but I didn't do nearly as well as you must think. It's part of my disordered thinking. I will honestly go: "nobody's watching right now, it's a good time to grab another chocolate."
ReplyDeleteJust because you didn't watch me shove all of that crap in my mouth doesn't mean I didn't do it. ;)
Back on track now.
Glad you had a fun weekend!
ReplyDeleteI think its good that you are able to recognize this and want to do something about it. I think the fact that you're so open about it will help you immenseley too! So many people (including myself) just make up excuses and continue sabatoging their goals.
You're a great inspiration for truly living a healthy lifestyle!
I fall into the same trap. It is so hard to avoid it!
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ReplyDeleteI'm normally an all or nothing kind of gal so I know your trap well. Through my journey this year I'm learning the art of comprimise and learning that having some treats is ok. I'm also learning how to have sweet tasting things without all the guilt (cupcakes made with diet soda and cake mix only rather than how the box says; dark chocolate instead of milk chocolate; sugar free gum instead of a candy bar; or a mini candy bar instead of a full size).
ReplyDeleteBeen there, Ate that!!! This totally mirrors my experiences and reminded me of something I saw on Thintervention with Jacki Warner on Bravo.
ReplyDeleteJacki has this whole clean eating, intense workout plan and most of the group has been following really well. One lady HAS NOT, first she started with the exercising, then she dieted while still social drinking, then cut out her cocktails but is still social. While she didn't lose as much weight, there was a temptation that she rocked and kept a level head. Since she's making small changes it's easier than the all or nothing mentality. It resonated with me and I think it may with you as well.
We're changing our relationship with food, which does lead to changing how we hang out with friends. You've accomplished so much (I can't even run a 5K so hats off to you!) Learn and move on by making one good choice then another!