This journey is teaching me a lot about myself. One thing I have learned is that there are certain things I am just not able to be moderate with.
As in: SUGAR
This weekend, I went for a fabulous weekend. I went away with the ladies from my babysitting co-op. I got a break from the usual daily grind, got to spend time outdoors in the mountains, had new experiences with a high ropes course and a giant swing (very cool). I got to know some of the ladies that I didn't know that well and connected further with some I already considered friends.
And I ate.
I joked Friday night that I was going to blog about all the saboteurs at the retreat. I'm not. Nobody pushed me to eat junk and a lot of it. There was one real saboteur. Me. I was the one that decided it would be okay to dip into the chocolate and the pastries, the girl guide cookies and the chips. No need to pass up the second helping at dinner. Sure, why not have that buttertart bar in the evening...
The thing is, some people indulge over a weekend and get back on track for Monday. Some people go a bit overboard on occasion and are fine.
I am not some people.
It's not the weekend itself that is a problem, but the fact that it opens a door that I need to keep closed. When I start indulging in those sugary treats, I'm like an addict. Seriously. It sounds crazy, but I start obsessing. I start wondering when I can get my next fix. Planning when I'll be able to stop by a donut shop or a bakery.
It's now Tuesday and I'm still struggling. Yesterday, I picked up some chocolate cookie things while at the grocery store. Last night, I decided to eat clean for the rest of the week, and then this morning, I dipped into the granola bars, one of the few snacky things in my house.
Heard the phrase: "you can start fresh tomorrow"?
What a load of crap.
If you're going to make the decision to start fresh, start now. This minute. Not tomorrow.
I should have blogged yesterday. It helps me organize my thoughts, and I know there's enough of you out there willing to give me a kick in the @ss.
So, detox time. For me, the sugar overload is a problem. I've learned that the way to get rid of it is to cut it all out. All of it. No sugar or refined flour. I don't believe in cutting out carbs. I still eat fruit, and whole grains such as quinoa or brown rice. Ultimately, this is what I consider ideal as an overall eating plan anyways. Normally, I allow a little bit of relaxation, but right now, it's time to break the cycle and go all the way.
I wish I could go to a weekend like this and practice moderation. For me, that's not the way it works. I have no regrets about going, but next time, I'm going to say no to the junk food from the start and get my enjoyment from the crazy card games, good company and beautiful space.